


Let's Not (Fall In Love)

by blinking_post



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Relationship Study, Yuto's Camera, smidgeon of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:19:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5198801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinking_post/pseuds/blinking_post
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuto falls in love on a quiet Monday while peering through his camera, framing Chinen into focus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Not (Fall In Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe read this while listening to Big Bang's "Let's Not Fall In Love". *falls* The feel of the story is mostly inspired by that song.

\----

 

Maybe he feeds into the YamaYuto fangirls too much, but sometimes when he hears their excited screams and their reactions when he touches Yamada’s face his heart leaps with joy and happiness.  They remind him why he loves being an idol so much.  Truth is though, Yuto has only ever been in love with one person.

 

He falls in love on a quiet Monday while peering through his camera.

 

So yeah, who says good things don’t happen on Mondays?  The best things in Yuto’s life always happens on Mondays.  Ten year-old Yuto meets a ten year-old Yamada on a Monday and for the longest time he called Yamada his best friend.  Maybe it was one-sided, mostly from him, but he can look back at those times fondly.  They were just kids back then, kids who wanted to be friends and hang out with each other without all the added baggage of fame and competition.  His first fight with Yamada also happens on a Monday, the jealousy and rivalry spilling over into something physical.  But you know what?  They make up on a Monday.  No words spoken, no words needed.  Just two friends clinging to each other on a drama set because they’re all each other have.

 

Yamada is one of the best things to ever happen to him.  The year or two where they could barely stand to be in the same room much less talk?  Yeah, it hurt, but it makes him cherish what they have even more now.  They have a mutual understanding and respect.  They push each other to work harder, try harder, to be better in only the way they two of them can.

 

JUMP is officially formed on a Monday.  September 24, 2007.  He will never forget the day the nine of them stood together, faces towards the camera while they unveiled their names.  Maybe back then he had thought, “Why us?  A group of kids who barely knew more than half of the other kids in the group?”  And maybe when he was young and brash and stupid, a kid really, he didn’t know or couldn’t understand what these people mean to him.  Now, now these people know him better than anyone and he wouldn’t trade that for anything.  They all struggled together.  They laughed together.  Hell, they cried together most times and if you don’t call that friendship then he doesn’t know what true friendship is.  Maybe that’s why he loves them all so much.  There are parts of him that only the members of his group know and that’s… that’s something special.

 

He meets Chinen on a Monday.  Eleven years old Yuto hears word of a new kid who’s much cuter than him.  He doesn’t believe it because cuter than him?  Impossible.  But then he sees Chinen and his pretty face, body so small and tiny Yuto had wanted to hold Chinen against his chest and squeeze.  They both probably knew then that Yuto would have done anything Chinen asked.  Hell, he still does now.

 

Yuto falls in love quietly on Monday while peering through his camera.  He doesn’t know it then, didn’t understand it because he was sixteen and hey, sixteen year-old kids aren’t usually the smartest or the first to catch on.  He falls in love while peering through his camera, framing Chinen into focus while his friend is sufficiently distracted.  Except at the last second Chinen looks up and when he sees Yuto with his camera and he hears the faint click of the shutter, a smile spreads across his face.  “Yutti,” he says, a hint of exasperation tingeing his words, but while he shakes his head the smile is still there, soft, and Yuto falls so gently he didn’t realize it could ache so much.

 

Something shifts within him.  His touches begin to linger, as if wanting to stay longer. His smiles for Chinen are wider, more genuine, and Chinen becomes the first person he seeks out.  The first person who sees him cry.  The first person he talks to.  The first person he asks advice from.  The first everything, actually.  They hang out more because Yuto seeks it.  He seeks that warm feeling of contentment, like coming home after a long, cold day.

 

Sometimes they do stupid things like get caught in the rain or miss the last train.  Sometimes they play games all night long until the light of dawn breaks through his curtains and they turn to each other shocked, blaming each other for their lack of sleep with stupidly happy grins on their faces.

 

Sometimes Chinen comes over and they don’t do anything but sit together in the same space sharing comfortable silence.  Chinen reads a book or a magazine or he plays with his DS or laptop and Yuto sorts through his cameras and lenses, taps away at his drums.  Sometimes Chinen is sufficiently distracted enough for him to sneak pictures without Chinen noticing, his friend framed by the white walls of his bedroom and the soft blue comforter of his bed, a look of peace that calms Yuto’s overabundant amount of energy right to the core.  Sometimes Chinen catches on and he rolls his eyes at Yuto before throwing a pillow towards his face, all the while telling him to find something better to do.  Yuto always laugh in return but he never tells Chinen that there’s nothing better than taking pictures of Chinen when he’s unaware, when the idol side of him slip away.

 

Chinen gets used to Yuto taking his pictures on a Monday.  Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that he gives up and stops caring.  He’s holding Yuto’s pillow in one hand, mid-throw, Yuto ready and bracing for it because Chinen has incredibly good aim, but it never comes.  When he peeks through one eye Chinen is back to ignoring him, pillow now snuggled into his lap, elbows on top.  They don’t talk about it but half the time they don’t need to talk about anything.

 

He kisses Chinen on a Monday.  Well, technically a Tuesday, just a few minutes past midnight but it’s still Monday somewhere.  He doesn’t know what happened, he’s clueless more than half the time, but after their latest concert Chinen won’t talk to him.  They’re all mostly done packing and waiting for their van to take them back to their hotel.  Everyone is still wired and pumped from the adrenaline, shouting over each other, everyone except Chinen who is strangely quiet, standing just close enough to be included but far enough to not be part of the chaos.  No one notices except Yuto, but Yuto notices everything when it involves Chinen.  He tries his best, slings his arm around Chinen’s shoulders, tucking him into his side but Chinen shrugs him off, stepping away and pretending to laugh with everyone else before Yuto can get too comfortable.

 

All the way to the hotel and right up until they reach Chinen’s door he follows his friend like a lost, kicked puppy.  “What did I do?” he whines, eyes pleading.

 

Chinen sighs, more tired than Yuto has ever seen him.  “I”m not a kid anymore, you can tell me.  You used to tell me everything.”  Chinen looks so different from his usual confident self.  Normal Chinen, regardless of size has always had a larger than life presence, undeniable and instantly noticeable, drawing all eyes to him.  This Chinen is smaller than Yuto has ever seen him and he doesn’t… he doesn’t know how to fix it.

 

“I do tell you everything,” he says, desperation in his voice.

 

Sadness forms in Chinen’s eyes.  “What about Ryosuke?”

 

“What about Ryosuke?”

 

“You like him.”

 

Yuto laughs at the absurdity of the statement but when Chinen looks away, hurt, the laugh fades into nothing.  “I don’t like Ryosuke.”

 

“You don’t have to lie because you don’t want to hurt my feelings.  Everyone and their mother knows how I feel about you, just like everyone and their mother knows about you and Ryosuke.  The way you look at him is different now.  You adore him.”

 

It’s true.  He _does_  adore Yamada because Yamada is the center that keeps them all together but it’s Chinen’s confession - casually slipped in - that catches his attention.  When he hears it he realizes a part of him had always known and now he can finally put a name to it.  It makes him want so he crowds Chinen up against his own hotel room door, leaning down until he feels the bursts of Chinen’s ragged breaths against his own lips.  “Still don’t like Ryosuke,” he repeats and then Yuto kisses him, the press of their lips electric, thrilling.

 

For the longest time he doesn’t call it love.  He doesn’t call it anything but a natural progression, an added layer of their friendship.  They continue to do what they’re doing, they continue being them except now when he gets the urge to kiss Chinen while he’s looking down at his friend, he does.  Sometimes they’re caught in the rain with nary a soul in sight and he takes Chinen’s hand into his own to twine them together.  Sometimes it makes him feel like the happiness might burst out of his every pore as he swings Chinen into his arms, the rain making a mess of their hair and clothes but he likes doing this, dancing in the rain like those overly romantic movies, until the both of them are dizzy.

 

Sometimes, when they’re lying in bed, he says to Chinen, “Let’s just stay the way we are now,” the implication of the unknown tomorrows - let’s not fall in love because we never know how we’ll feel tomorrow - hanging in the air because things change from day to do - they could too - and he just wants these moments to never end.  Love can hurt so much and right now they’re having so much fun.  Chinen smiles and nods and always say it’s a good idea as he gets up to leave.  He always leans down over Yuto to kiss him before he goes, hair shadowing his face but Yuto always thinks he sees a ghost of sadness before it disappears.

 

Sometimes he wants to reach out and ask Chinen to stay but doesn’t.  Sometimes he does, catching Chinen’s hand as he’s tugging on his jeans to pull him back into bed.  Chinen calls him a selfish bastard but he doesn’t leave so Yuto counts that as a win.

 

Truth is Yuto is scared.  He’s so scared that if he calls this love it will change what they have, might make it into an obligation instead of something he wants, trapping him until he feels like he won’t be able to breathe, until whatever they have is ruined.  The fear is crippling, making him into a coward.

 

His epiphany starts in the form of Yamada’s hand slapping the back of his head on a Monday.  He’s still mostly in shock, rubbing the spot where Yamada had just struck him when his friend starts berating him, calling him an idiot.

 

“You’re going to lose the best thing that’s happened to you, you know that?”

 

“What?”

 

“Chinen loves you.  Stop stringing him along, okay?”  Yamada’s eyes soften.  “Make it real or let him go.”

 

He thinks about it the whole day, unsure of what he wants to do until he sees Chinen walking through his apartment door.  Before Chinen can say or do anything other than take off his shoes, he says, from his position on the couch, eyes locked with Chinen’s, “I was scared.  I’m sorry.”

 

For the longest time he _was_  scared of these feelings, of putting a name on it because it might change everything about them, change the way they fit so seamlessly together, but the idea of losing Chinen is more terrifying.

 

“Yutti?”  Cautiously, afraid, he stands in the foyer watching Yuto approach him.

 

When he is standing directly in front of Chinen, he says, “I love you.”  Easy.  Simple.  Because that’s what they are.  The easiest thing to slip into in his life.

 

It’s quiet right after, but then Chinen leans forward until his forehead rests against Yuto’s chest and Yuto pretends he doesn’t hear the little hiccups from Chinen crying.

 

Yuto falls in love on a Monday while quietly peering through his camera, framing Chinen into focus when he is distracted.  Chinen looks up and when he sees Yuto with his camera covering half his face, a smile spreads across his face, so contagious it infects Yuto too.  “Yutti,” he says, a hint of exasperation, but while he shakes his head his smile is still there, soft, and Yuto falls so gently he didn’t realize it could ache so much or fill him with so much contentment, like coming home.

 

Yuto falls in love with Chinen on a Monday.

 

Yuto falls in love helplessly, a little more every Monday when he looks through his camera to capture Chinen on film, thinking this has to be it, there’s no way he can possibly love Chinen more than this, but then Chinen looks back at him right through the camera, and a smile so tender, barely there, rips Yuto apart each and every time before putting him back together again.

 

Mondays.

 

The best things in his life happens on Mondays.

  
\----

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't think I'd ever write anything but YamaYuto when I started writing fics again. However, Nakachii happened, and maybe I don't love it like I obviously love YamaYuto, but I still think the ship is sweet. I once joked with a friend about how YamaYuto is my OTP and I don't ship Yamada with anyone but Yuto and guard him like a daughter whereas I treat Yuto like a son and tell him to go sow his oats LOL.
> 
> Anyway, hope you all enjoyed reading this (all two of you, if I'm being optimistic).
> 
> (Did any of you guys notice that while there's a scene that seems to repeat, the wording changes a little each time? Did anyone make the connection that those are all different occasions or did it fly over everyone's head? Was it too subtle?)


End file.
